#MondayMotivation In all your Building, Build Confidence!

My 'Quote of the Day' was from tennis player, Sloane Stephens and it is up on my Instagram now.
She basically says if you have confidence you can do anything and I have to concur!

I was thinking the other day of how sometimes even when it comes to fashion, confidence is key. I mean, how does Rihanna get away with her experimental sense of style? Because she is bad ass, and because she is confidence.

Confidence, where not innate, can be difficult to build. It requires a good blend of 'F what they say' and learning to listen. Confidence is being stubborn enough to not give up on what you believe, turning stumbling blocks into stepping stones and never staying down nor stagnant.

If like me, you struggle sometimes, there are some things that help
- Look good!
This is not about being shallow. If what you wear fits you well and you put your head up straight, you will automatically be more assured than if your clothes are loose fitting.

- Replace negative thoughts with the positive.
Instead of what you can't do or should not have done, think of the great things you do! When you have doubts, be realistic but think happy thoughts.

- Talk to yourself
Not on a bus o! Ehen.
When you can, just speak to yourself with your confidence confessions. A lot of battles are mental, give yourself that mental boost!

- Prepare
Research and read up on what you have to do so that when you do do it, it is with confidence.
If you are not well prepared say to present in your class or office, your confidence will go down the drains. When you feel 100 percent ready, you will be more confident already.

I hope this helps and do s.h.a.r.e what you do to boost your confidence with me in the comments.

#MondayMotivation How to UNLearn

If I asked what you learnt recently, you would probably have a million responses.

What if I switched it up and asked what you UNlearnt recently?

There you may hesitate and look at me like I was mad.

I do believe though that life is about 

- Learning

- Unlearning, and 

- Relearning.

Let me explain.

The average person will learn something new everyday, either while on our daily commute, while watching or reading the news, or from something online.

I recently learnt that President Macron of France will be visiting Ghana, Burkina Faso and Ivory Coast while covering the news for Kwesefied. (I then wondered, 'what happened to Naija na?!')

French President, Emmanuel Macron

But i digress.

Learning is easy, especially if we open ourselves to it.

ReLearning is also easy. There are things we have learnt before that we either take for granted or do not use and so must relearn them. I for example, had to relearn how to move my arm after I fractured it and wore a cast for weeks. The first day the cast was taken off, the doctor and nurse said, "Move your arm" and I thought I was doing it but guess what? My arm was NOT moving.

I then had to undergo a series of physiotherapy sessions to RElearn how to move my arm.

That was not fun I can tell you.

What may be fun or not fun depending on our attitude to it is UNlearning.

Imagine you grow up thinking something and 'knowing it for sure', then growing up and finding out you were wrong!

There are people who still argue the earth is flat while most say it is round.

If you do not open yourself up to letting go of wrong or false information you have, you may find yourself stuck in the mud and not growing. Learning, Unlearning and Relearning are all essential aspects of growth.

Can you s.h.a.r.e one thing you recently Learnt, Unlearnt or Relearnt, with me?

#MondayMotivation As with finger-nails, so with life

Ever taken a look at my nails?

On a good day, i have a manicure and a pop of colour. On an okay day, my nails are natural. And on my worst days (nervous, busy etc), you can see that while i do not chew my nails, i still take a lot out on them.

I have had my great days where i let my nails grow, paint them and love them. Growing my nails takes a few weeks. For me, it is the most boring couple of weeks as i track the growth and paint, clean, re-paint. But then give me one stressful or very bored day and i cut them all off!

This happened this month.

I made a vow to leave my nails alone. Everytime i absentmindedly started playing with them, i would stop myself and focus on something else. I lasted a few weeks. Then one fine day, i sat down and played with them. Again.

And you see, my nails remind me of a lot of things. Like building things up and taking them down. Like how it is much easier to destroy than to build up.

Think about it. It took me WEEKS to get my nails to a passable level. It took MINUTES to cut them off. Or like my hair. I have been growing my hair now for about seven years. I am sure if i go to a salon now, it would take about thirty minutes maximum to shave it off!

I wonder why negative things cost us less (in the short run), and good things take longer and feel more tedious. But i am also mindful of how it may feel like it is easier to just be bad, but in the long run, series of negative thoughts, patterns and behaviour will hurt us.

From my nails i learn two things
- It is so much harder to build (a business, reputation, a person) than it is to destroy it. All that we do can be lost with one careless word, thought or action. We have to be careful!

- Easier does not always translate to better. Yes, growing my nails is a big deal and stressful for me but it carries so many more benefits than the easy 'attack-nails-when-stressed' behaviour.

- Build habits early!
I wish i had learnt to stop attacking my nails while i was a lot younger. By now, i won't even be going back and forth on it. Habits can be annoying to form and bad habits are always easier to form and harder to kick, but habits learnt when young will benefit us for much longer and will become a seamless part of us as we grow older.

#MondayMotivation This is YOUR life; are you who YOU want to be?

This post is about those who have balls, and those who don't.

Working on radio exposes me to all kinds of music- the good, the bad and the 'why na?'. Sometimes a big artiste releases a new song and they are taken to the cleaners and I'm like, o wow.

But to be honest, fighting for your dreams takes accepting criticism and ugliness. Question is, can you fight for your dreams the way artistes (even those we criticise the harshest) calmly release their song, overlook the hate and keep going on?

Sometimes we even knock ourselves down (and out) before others do, by thinking of what people would or would not say.

They want to model but on twitter there are so many jokes about how everyone is a model these days, so they never work on their portfolio.

They are good writers but instead of opening a blog, they listen to people laugh at bloggers and how suddenly everyone owns a blog. (re: blogs. It is okay for EVERYONE to own a blog. That is what a blog is all about. It is like an online diary. I don't get why all the fuss.)

My point is, sometimes we spend so much time knocking ourselves down that there is no need for anyone else to do it for us.

And for me, i pray i can truly say, this is my life, this is who i want to be.

Not some times, but ALL the time.

#MondayMotivation Learning to beat Procrastination

Hi all.
It is another Monday and while i had something else to feature on Monday Motivation before, i stumbled on a tweet that made me change direction.

Basically someone on twitter was asking for tips on how to deal with procrastination. Oddly enough, one of the articles that popped up while i was checking news stories this morning was one on one thing ALL billionaires don't do. According to the writer, after talking to a number of billionaires, he found out that they DON't procrastinate.

So there we go.

While making billions is not the only thing there is to strive for, there is no doubt that whether you want success in personal life, financial freedom or success in your career, you have to conquer the vice of procrastination. A vice i am well acquainted with and while i have not fully conquered my tendency to procrastinate, i have found out how to deal with it.

1. Find out why you procrastinate.
We procrastinate because we are easily distracted, afraid, a little lazy or just prefer to take the scenic route for everything. Next time you put doing something off, find out why. Tackling the root cause will help you.

2. Create reminders
Set reminders for practical times and then when it comes up on your phone, DO IT!
Say for example, you have set 'call mechanic' for 2pm and it goes off, DO IT, even if you are eating. If you snooze or reschedule, you may never get to it!

3. Let Proverbs be a guide.
Things like, "a little sleep, a little slumber, so shall poverty come upon you" are like that cane parents held... anti-foolishness reminder.

4. Be practical.
Sometimes we really do try to do too much. If you fill your day with too many tasks, it is like filling your plate with too much food at a buffet- nothing gets fully enjoyed. Be wise!

These four tips help me be better at doing things when i am supposed to. I hope it helps you too.

#TBDaily x #MondayMotivation A Day is a Day is a Day

Growing up, Mondays felt sacred. I watched people treat Monday like a mystical day. You had to 'price' the goods in the market properly, not fight with your neighbours and not give bad or stressful information because 'o saro Monday" (it was early Monday morning).
Okay.

For me, i hated Sunday evenings because they brought the week, not just Monday, but every single day i would have to wake up early, then go to school and get some homework for the next day. Till today, Sunday evenings can be scary for me.

Between university and NYSC, when i could truly let my inner gypsy shine because lectures / classes could be at anytime so Mondays were no longer as special, i fell back to loving each day for what it brought.

It was refreshing to not have Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays etc, but have 'Family Law', 'Js 3' etc. For holidays, days became blurry and Monday (and to a lesser extent, Sunday), lost its scare.

For those of us in the creative industry, or who run companies outside a 9 to 5, the same effect is there. Like i tell people, i work on Mondays, Tuesdays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Fridays, Saturdays, Sundays... any day that ends with day.

The best way to tackle these things really is to not attach any special or mystic importance to any day in particular. That is not to say you shouldn't chart your energy levels and know your best days, but when we have all these 'moandays' jokes et al, it just gives 24 hours power. The kind of power we give 'New Year', but without the positive side effects like resolutions.

So this little message is to say, it is all psychological. And if you conquer Monday, you can conquer the week, But remember, after all is said and done, each day is the same twenty four hours. Don't let one day ruin your week. Nor life.

#TBDaily x Monday Motivation: Power

Today during a chat with a tv host, he asked me about this power on air personalities seem to have over music careers.

Let me be the first to say it here that I don't believe a radio or television presenter can make or break your career. First, there are too many ways for an artiste to shine than some random on air personality that won't play their song. Secondly, radio is more than just music and artistes. We talk, break news, do non music personality interviews and the like.

But I digress.

Back to power.

Everyone is powerful. Disagree? Then try buying fuel when there's fuel scarcity and watch your neighbourhood attendant become a king. Or meet with the security guard at an estate or a company you need to absolutely go into.

We all have some kind of power and in wielding same we need to be careful. While a degree of firmness, a dose of toughness and some lines are needed, you have to be careful not to cross over to 'wickedness' or 'spitefulness'.

What do you think about power and how can one handle power with care?

#TBDaily Are you really unhappy?

I can't remember what I was doing or when it was but one afternoon I was just sad. You know that sorrow that isn't depression but isn't based on traffic or anything you can put a finger on?

Infact I had to ask myself why I was sad and try as I did, I could not find an answer.

So instead of focusing on this great big sorrow I was feeling, I smiled (physically), and began to thank God for things. I thanked Him for my life, for my family, friends, that I was healthy, that I had a job, a career, a voice, everything!

I had barely gone halfway when I honestly felt that joy bubbling again.

I think sometimes we have a default setting and we have to be careful what that is. Sorrow helps us to feel things but when we wear it around just because, then it becomes a burden we must cast out. I've learnt to ask myself why I'm sad and confess the positive over my life instead.

So next time you are sad, ask yourself If you are truly sad or it is just the devil trying to take your joy away?!