When i was in school, my friend locked her keys in her car. I walked by with another friend of mine (what we call a 'toaster'. lol). After five minutes with my friend, i knew i wasn't going to be able to date this guy. Why? He broke all the rules of what to do or say in a crisis.
So my friend had locked her keys in the car right, right? What does toaster say? "You locked your keys in the car?"
My friend, trying not to say 'duh' replies, "Yes"
"O"
Silence.
Then, "and you do not have the spare here?" (toaster again)
Even i wanted to hit him at this point. If she had the spare keys would she be on the road at school looking around helplessly and trying to resolve the situation?
I mean!
Look, people will always be in stressful situations and when that happens, please avoid saying or doing the following-
* STATING the obvious
When people are stressed or in trouble, they do not need you stating the obvious. Things like, "you are late", "you locked your keys in abi" are inviting a less than polite response. If you can't help, don't harm!
* ASKING Questions or Acting like you can help
IF you know you can't.
When someone is in need of help they are desperate. Don't use them for your own five minutes of bored fun by asking them questions about the issue when you know you can't help. That is time they could have been looking for someone who could actually help and you just succeeded in stressing them further.
WHat are you? A monster?
* BEING Logical
Okay Okay I know logic always seems like a good idea, but not when it serves no purpose other than yours.
Tuesday
Pic of the Day: Meet the Basketball-Loving Carters
And Blue Ivy just keeps getting cuter.
The Carters took time off their busy schedules to go catch a game yesterday.
Sunday
#ShortStorySunday Once a Year
Some people you are destined to keep meeting
If you believe in destiny
It could just be that its a small world and so you were bound to bump into them anyways!
But Shade believed in destiny.
The first time she met Tutu, she was fascinated.
He was tall
He had lovely hair
And he spoke well
That was always her weakness.
He was in university and he was in America; back home for something or the other. That was twenty years ago
She was at a friend's wedding. A little bored and ready to leave but saw a friend on her way out. The friend was at the same table with Tutu. Nothing mattered any longer; she just wanted to be around him, talking about nothing, something, everything.
And that's what they did.
This was in the days of no mobile phones nor 'social media' so they swapped landlines, and someone called the other, and after chatting back and forth for a bit, they set up a date.
And yet, inspite of both of their best intentions, they could never seem to get the date right.
Between them, they had no car, no licenses, and no clue as to what one could do for fun.
One day, she just asked a cousin to pick her up, she met up with him and they just wandered about in Victoria Island for a while without doing anything really.
The date sucked.
She felt it, and years later, when they spoke about it, she realised he had thought so as well..
Every so often, Tutu would come home, and they would bump into each other
Maybe at a club
Oh wait, always at a club.
They would talk, and try to hook up but never get round to it
But they always seemed to be able to stay in touch via email.
Cut to Lagos
December 2016.
Shade had gone through drama with her now-ex, Jim.
One day she meets a few friends up at a cafe. And once again, she bumped into Tutu.
Still tall (er)
Hair still beautiful (er)
Still speaking well (er)
Still damn all that and a bag of chips
They spoke over coffee, he took her number, and he called the next day, and they hung out
Five minutes into the 'date', she began to panic.
It felt like it wasn't working, like the date was going to suck again.
Infact, it did suck. Till they went outside to wait for a cab and it began raining
And they got completely soaked.
And somewhere between the thunder and the lightning, she realised that it never would matter how the dates themselves went, all that mattered was that she hung out with him.
He of course, went back again. He had just been home for christmas.
And this time, she won't stay in touch. She won't try to make it into more than what it is- a magical encounter that only happens once a year. and only by fate.
She would rather not know if he is dating someone (okay fine, he is, she checked).
She would rather just forget about Tutu till the next time she was sitting idly at a party, and then got a pat on the back...
For now, she is condemned to that excruciatingly beautiful place where memories are glorified, and everything is magnified.
If you believe in destiny
It could just be that its a small world and so you were bound to bump into them anyways!
But Shade believed in destiny.
The first time she met Tutu, she was fascinated.
He was tall
He had lovely hair
And he spoke well
That was always her weakness.
He was in university and he was in America; back home for something or the other. That was twenty years ago
She was at a friend's wedding. A little bored and ready to leave but saw a friend on her way out. The friend was at the same table with Tutu. Nothing mattered any longer; she just wanted to be around him, talking about nothing, something, everything.
And that's what they did.
This was in the days of no mobile phones nor 'social media' so they swapped landlines, and someone called the other, and after chatting back and forth for a bit, they set up a date.
And yet, inspite of both of their best intentions, they could never seem to get the date right.
Between them, they had no car, no licenses, and no clue as to what one could do for fun.
One day, she just asked a cousin to pick her up, she met up with him and they just wandered about in Victoria Island for a while without doing anything really.
The date sucked.
She felt it, and years later, when they spoke about it, she realised he had thought so as well..
Every so often, Tutu would come home, and they would bump into each other
Maybe at a club
Oh wait, always at a club.
They would talk, and try to hook up but never get round to it
But they always seemed to be able to stay in touch via email.
Cut to Lagos
December 2016.
Shade had gone through drama with her now-ex, Jim.
One day she meets a few friends up at a cafe. And once again, she bumped into Tutu.
Still tall (er)
Hair still beautiful (er)
Still speaking well (er)
Still damn all that and a bag of chips
They spoke over coffee, he took her number, and he called the next day, and they hung out
Five minutes into the 'date', she began to panic.
It felt like it wasn't working, like the date was going to suck again.
Infact, it did suck. Till they went outside to wait for a cab and it began raining
And they got completely soaked.
And somewhere between the thunder and the lightning, she realised that it never would matter how the dates themselves went, all that mattered was that she hung out with him.
He of course, went back again. He had just been home for christmas.
And this time, she won't stay in touch. She won't try to make it into more than what it is- a magical encounter that only happens once a year. and only by fate.
She would rather not know if he is dating someone (okay fine, he is, she checked).
She would rather just forget about Tutu till the next time she was sitting idly at a party, and then got a pat on the back...
For now, she is condemned to that excruciatingly beautiful place where memories are glorified, and everything is magnified.
Wednesday
CONTEST: Join the ICT and Me contest with New Horizons and yours truly!
Would you like to win a 100percent FREE ICT training scholarship? Then please do enter the 'ICT and ME' contest organised by New Horizons!
The ICT&Me (#ICT&Me) initiative is designed to empower youths who are eager to learn additional skills for enterprise and career that will make them more productive and better able to attract great opportunities in an exciting way.
Then, write a 100 word article on how ICT can enhance career and business in 2017.
Take a selfie of you and your ICT device i.e printer, tablet, phone, laptop, camera etc using the hashtag ' #ICT&MECONTEST '
Upload your selfie tagging Tosyn and New Horizons on either Facebook or Twitter.
The FIVE Best composed Images and articles will be selected by Tosyn.
Winners would be announced on Tosyn & New Horizons' platforms
Get all the information you need and enter the competition HERE
Monday
#Grammys2017 Highlights and Pictures
Album of the Year
Adele '25'
Record of the Year
Adele 'Hello'
Song of the Year
Adele 'Hello'
Best Pop Vocal Album
Adele '25'
Best New Artiste
Chance The Rapper
Best Rap Album
Chance the Rapper 'Coloring Book'
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
Twenty One Pilots "Stressed Out"
Best Pop Solo Performance
Adele 'Hello'
Best Contemporary Album
Beyonce 'Lemonade'
Best Rap/Sung Performance
Drake 'Hotline Bling'
Best R n B Performance
Solange 'Cranes in the Sky'
Best Reggae Album
Ziggy Marley 'Ziggy Marley'
Adele '25'
 |
| Congrats to Adele on her five Grammys on the night. She also did a tribute to George Michael which started off so shaky, she had to stop mid-way and start all over again. THEN she got a standing ovation. |
Adele 'Hello'
Song of the Year
Adele 'Hello'
Adele '25'
Best New Artiste
Chance The Rapper
 |
| Congrats Chance the Rapper |
Best Rap Album
Chance the Rapper 'Coloring Book'
Best Pop Duo/Group Performance
Twenty One Pilots "Stressed Out"
Best Pop Solo Performance
Adele 'Hello'
Best Contemporary Album
Beyonce 'Lemonade'
 |
| Queen Bey won two awards on the night and now has 22 awards. She also performed two of her songs and was introduced on stage by her mum. |
Best Rap/Sung Performance
Drake 'Hotline Bling'
Best R n B Performance
Solange 'Cranes in the Sky'
Best Reggae Album
Ziggy Marley 'Ziggy Marley'
 |
| Lady Gaga and Metallica |
 |
| Bruno Mars |
 |
| John Legend and Chrissy Teigen |
 |
| O Rihanna... how many ways do we love you? |
 |
| Blue Ivy dressed up like Prince, with adoring dad and proud husband, Jay Z |
Friday
Wednesday
#WhatsHappeningNaija Podcast Thursday February 9th 2017
It is your daily dose of News stories in Nigeria. Check it out and s.h.a.r.e to a friend!
Tuesday
#Life101 Would you go for "The Next Best Thing"
p.s, i wrote this article a few years ago
You know how you wake up one morning and just KNOW what you want for lunch and so you spend the whole morning waiting for lunch break and thinking of that food and then it's lunch break and u go to the restaurant excitedly, wait on the queue and once its your turn, u order excitedly, "two wraps of pounded yam,some egusi soup and catfish!" but then the waitress says, "sorry oga, we no get catfish o".
Kai!
If you could you would refuse to eat and wait till there was catfish or go somewhere else but you have a report to submit so honestly, what can you do but settle for, the next best thing?
Is that how love goes for you?
When growing up, you have an idea of how you want your perfect partner to be; most of these ideas shaped by all those books we read and movies we saw. The reality however does not match. Maybe you meet the perfect person 'but'. But she is igbo and you are hausa. but he is short. but she is not as educated as you would like. but he has a girlfriend.
The 'buts' are endless.
So what do you do?
Society is pressurising you to get married or you will end up at 'Shiloh' (as they like to threaten). Your parents are no longer hinting. It is plain. They want grandchildren. You are a guest at every bridal shower, then baby showers and anniversaries.
At some point, you may think that hey, if you cannot be with the one you love, why not be with the Next Best Thing?
What do you think? Hold out for as long as it takes or go for the next best thing? Let me know what you think below. In the meantime, i wrote a little poem back in school.
"No such thing
as the next best thing
No such 'one'
as 'almost the one'
If i can't give my heart to you
I might as well keep my heart with me!"
Sunday
#ShortSunday "These Ones Shall Rise Again"
Barren lands, fertile hearts
Pain echoes around
Hope quietly seeps in,
The sun will rise tomorrow.
Sad eyes, happy voices
Weak limbs, strengthened minds
These souls will rise again
From the depths of despair
Come a realisation of self
From the heights of pain
Come the defintion of strength
These ones shall rise again.
Pain echoes around
Hope quietly seeps in,
The sun will rise tomorrow.
Sad eyes, happy voices
Weak limbs, strengthened minds
These souls will rise again
From the depths of despair
Come a realisation of self
From the heights of pain
Come the defintion of strength
These ones shall rise again.
Thursday
#TravelThursday When a foodie travels...
I love food. One of my dream jobs is to work somewhere where eating (possibly while travelling) is involved.
I eat anything and everything and will try most things at least once. Thankfully, i also have no allergies so there is no need to worry about dairy or other problems.
So i eat. And when i travel, o what joy it is. I am always amused to see people who look out for foods they would normally eat at home when they travel. I mean, i can understand that if you live in another country (LIVE),you will of course crave things from home but when you are there for holiday or a brief work stay, why not enjoy the cuisine there?
That is my first tip or thought- always try out what is indigenous to where you are staying everytime you travel. It will amaze you what you enjoy eating, and you could possibly bring that back with you. For example, i once had whole boiled okro when i went to Dubai and since then, i have seen okro in a new light; as a snack or part or even something enjoyed on its' own and not just the usual 'swallow' and 'soup' way. I also developed a taste for 'white soup' when i went to Port Harcourt and order it regularly when i can.
Be curious. When you order these meals, find out what it is and how it is cooked.
Note however that not everything you eat will be wonderful. Infact, some may never be your cup of tea (sometimes literally) so please be careful when trying out new things and ensure you eat a lot of what you do know and trust as well. Anything that could potentially make you ill, awaken your allergies or give you the runs should be noted.
Take pictures! What?! This is the instagram generation. We document our food and where we enjoyed it. Just make sure you do not ruin meal times by taking pictures excessively. I advise one quick picture when the food comes and maybe an 'after' picture when you are done. These can be posted individually or with a grid. But please do not snapchat your meal time... at least, not unless you are making money from it.
What is the best food you have ever had from a country or state you do not live in?
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