#Unbroken2017 Tackling Love and Marriage questions with HICC at Harvesters Single & Married Conference | Sept. 26th- Oct. 1st

My friend hollered at me concerning this Harvesters' Singles Summit and we spoke about how her mum had once told her to marry the man who loves her more than the man she loves. Trust, i had a million questions like,
- How do you know who loves who more in a relationship?
- Can you really marry someone you are not crazy about?

We spoke for a bit then i of course took it to social media to get some more perspective. The answers were interesting. One person said you know who loves whom more based on action; i.e, the person that SHOWS it more. But another commented that that would not work in her situation for example because she is naturally withdrawn so you may think she doesn't feel certain things but she does.

The argument is still going on so you can join on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook.

In the meantime, what started the WHOLE convo was this event.

Date: Tuesday, September 26th- Sunday, October 1st, 2017.

Time: 6 pmVenue: Church Hall, Harvesters International Christian Center. (Gbagada and Lekki).

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The Harvesters International Christian Center (Gbagada and Lekki) will be leading hard/soft conversations about taboo & mainstream topics in marriage, single life and the occasional #YorubaDemons; and you are invited to lend your voice to the conversations. The planned breakout sessions have been designed to be as no holds barred and engaging as possible.

This conference is for anyone who is married, single, divorced , dating or somewhere in-between. Be sure to register and to invite a couple of friends along!

The speakers include Taiwo Odukoya, Michelle McKinney Hammond, Femi Oduwole and more!

You can register here

#NewMusic: Banky W tugs at our heart strings with his song for 'Susu'

It was a simple Friday.. still is.
I was just sitting here trying to work, and then next thing, i stumbled on Banky W's new video.

Incase you have been sleeping under a rock, here's the back story.

R 'n' B singer, Banky W, and actress and 'It' girl, Adesua Etomi, announced their engagement a few weeks ago. They then had an introduction and dinner then flew to Dubai to wrap filming on 'The Wedding Party' 2, the sequel to the highly successful 'Wedding Party' movie.

Now, the video to Banky's song, "Heaven (Susu's song)" is out and we swear there is something in our eyes.
Watch the sweet tribute which also gives us the inside scoop on that incredible engagement again.

#ShortStorySunday Once a Year

Some people you are destined to keep meeting
If you believe in destiny
It could just be that its a small world and so you were bound to bump into them anyways!

But Shade believed in destiny.

The first time she met Tutu, she was fascinated.
He was tall
He had lovely hair
And he spoke well

That was always her weakness.

He was in university and he was in America; back home for something or the other. That was twenty years ago

She was at a friend's wedding. A little bored and ready to leave but saw a friend on her way out. The friend was at the same table with Tutu. Nothing mattered any longer; she just wanted to be around him, talking about nothing, something, everything.

And that's what they did.

This was in the days of no mobile phones nor 'social media' so they swapped landlines, and someone called the other, and after chatting back and forth for a bit, they set up a date.

And yet, inspite of both of their best intentions, they could never seem to get the date right.


Between them, they had no car, no licenses, and no clue as to what one could do for fun.

One day, she just asked a cousin to pick her up, she met up with him and they just wandered about in Victoria Island for a while without doing anything really.

The date sucked.
She felt it, and years later, when they spoke about it, she realised he had thought so as well..

Every so often, Tutu would come home, and they would bump into each other
Maybe at a club
Oh wait, always at a club.

They would talk, and try to hook up but never get round to it
But they always seemed to be able to stay in touch via email. 

Cut to Lagos
December 2016.

Shade had gone through drama with her now-ex, Jim.
One day she meets a few friends up at a cafe. And once again, she bumped into Tutu.

Still tall (er)
Hair still beautiful (er)
Still speaking well (er)
Still damn all that and a bag of chips

They spoke over coffee, he took her number, and he called the next day, and they hung out

Five minutes into the 'date', she began to panic.
It felt like it wasn't working, like the date was going to suck again.
Infact, it did suck. Till they went outside to wait for a cab and it began raining
And they got completely soaked.
And somewhere between the thunder and the lightning, she realised that it never would matter how the dates themselves went, all that mattered was that she hung out with him.

He of course, went back again. He had just been home for christmas.

And this time, she won't stay in touch. She won't try to make it into more than what it is- a magical encounter that only happens once a year. and only by fate.
She would rather not know if he is dating someone (okay fine, he is, she checked).
She would rather just forget about Tutu till the next time she was sitting idly at a party, and then got a pat on the back...

For now, she is condemned to that excruciatingly beautiful place where memories are glorified, and everything is magnified. 

#Life101 Would you go for "The Next Best Thing"

p.s, i wrote this article a few years ago

You know how you wake up one morning and just KNOW what you want for lunch and so you spend the whole morning waiting for lunch break and thinking of that food and then it's  lunch break and u go to the restaurant excitedly, wait on the queue and once its your turn, u order excitedly, "two wraps of pounded yam,some egusi soup and catfish!" but then the waitress says, "sorry oga, we no get catfish o".

Kai!

If you could you would refuse to eat and wait till there was catfish or go somewhere else  but you have a report to submit so honestly, what can you do but settle for, the next best thing?

Is that how love goes for you?

When growing up, you have an idea of how you want your perfect partner to be; most of these ideas shaped by all those books we read and movies we saw. The reality however does not match. Maybe you meet the perfect person 'but'. But she is igbo and you are hausa. but he is short. but she is not as educated as you would like. but he has a girlfriend.

The 'buts' are endless.

So what do you do?

Society is pressurising you to get married or you will end up at 'Shiloh' (as they like to threaten). Your parents are no longer hinting. It is plain. They want grandchildren. You are a guest at every bridal shower, then baby showers and anniversaries.

At some point, you may think that hey, if you cannot be with the one you love, why not be with the Next Best Thing?

What do you think? Hold out for as long as it takes or go for the next best thing? Let me know what you think below. In the meantime, i wrote a little poem back in school.

"No such thing

as the next best thing

No such 'one'

as 'almost the one'

If i can't give my heart to you

I might as well keep my heart with me!"